When you really start thinking about it, the fact that a bag of carrots says 'nut-free' just makes you think about all the stuff it doesnt say it doesn't contain. maybe it contains bugs, and maybe its got sheep piss on it, and maybe its radioactive? who knows??? we only know it doesnt contain nuts. Is it suitable for vegitarians? And does it have gluten? have these carrots been cloned? do they contain arsenic or hemlock or some kind of poison? how can i be sure if these 'carrots' CONTAIN carrots or this is just clever branding like Orange, which contains no oranges or nuts but little micro chips and ringtones. its just too chaotic. must rest... n.
sorry about the sheep piss sarah... i guess the role of packaging in england is more important than in other parts of the world...packages here really tell you what it is you are eating, unlike in other places where the package information is cross referenced with the experience of the taste and smell of the food. so, if you got a bag which says 'carrots' in israel for example, and they tasted like carrots, then you know thats what they are. but if the bag says carrots, but they taste like tomatoes, then you know they got the labels mixed. but here, taste is really only implied through visual stimulous. so, instead of buying a cheese because you like the smell and you know you like goat-cheese, you buy a cheese that tells you it had a 'mild, nutty, creamy flavour'. then you eat it, and it has no flavour, but you say 'hmm...its quite creamy and nutty...quite mild'. or you buy custurd (ew) and it says 'a rich creme anglaise with fresh cream and madagascan vanilla' and you eat this pale yello slop and you say 'hmm...its quite rich and fresh, creamy, and you can really taste the natural vanilla'. i wonder what would happen if they began writing bad stuff, or bizarre stuff like 'Carrots: for a mild hilusinogenic effect, in which you will see pink elephants, lucy in the sky with a smoky, tangy, chutny flavour', or 'BEANS: with a nausiating aftertaste which will leave your intestines in turmoil all night long'. n.
lacto-ovo friendly toilet paper - i see a new winning product! also, organic toilet paper, gluten free toilet paper, and fair trade toilet paper ...why not try them all! coming up: miso flavoured toilet paper in red, white and brown. your butt has never been so pampered!
oh..and of course, colesterol free toilet paper, suger free toilet paper (for diabetics), fat free and low carb toilet paper, and in the new sensations range, hand-cooked chutney and jamaican lime flavoured toilet paper.
when you think about it, the world of toilet paper really has not been developed enough... how about hand-pressed toilet paper, japanese rice toilet paper, large-sizes toilet paper...
and then also plebian toilet paper with old baily testimony statement: 'i was minding my own business when suddenly a gentleman and lady approached me...pointing her ladiship 'marked that I had stolen her toilette papier of one shilling and three pence. And I tell you, I had never so much as laid a finger on any toilette papier, for I am a good protestant and a poor housemaid and no French wine will pass my lips.
12 Comments:
Shocking!!!
When you really start thinking about it, the fact that a bag of carrots says 'nut-free' just makes you think about all the stuff it doesnt say it doesn't contain. maybe it contains bugs, and maybe its got sheep piss on it, and maybe its radioactive? who knows??? we only know it doesnt contain nuts. Is it suitable for vegitarians? And does it have gluten? have these carrots been cloned? do they contain arsenic or hemlock or some kind of poison? how can i be sure if these 'carrots' CONTAIN carrots or this is just clever branding like Orange, which contains no oranges or nuts but little micro chips and ringtones. its just too chaotic. must rest...
n.
well... now after eating these orange sticks and thinking about sheep's piss... i think i'm feeling sick.
well, at least i can assure you they weren't carrots. or at least didn't taste like them.
s.
sorry about the sheep piss sarah...
i guess the role of packaging in england is more important than in other parts of the world...packages here really tell you what it is you are eating, unlike in other places where the package information is cross referenced with the experience of the taste and smell of the food. so, if you got a bag which says 'carrots' in israel for example, and they tasted like carrots, then you know thats what they are. but if the bag says carrots, but they taste like tomatoes, then you know they got the labels mixed. but here, taste is really only implied through visual stimulous. so, instead of buying a cheese because you like the smell and you know you like goat-cheese, you buy a cheese that tells you it had a 'mild, nutty, creamy flavour'. then you eat it, and it has no flavour, but you say 'hmm...its quite creamy and nutty...quite mild'. or you buy custurd (ew) and it says 'a rich creme anglaise with fresh cream and madagascan vanilla' and you eat this pale yello slop and you say 'hmm...its quite rich and fresh, creamy, and you can really taste the natural vanilla'.
i wonder what would happen if they began writing bad stuff, or bizarre stuff like 'Carrots: for a mild hilusinogenic effect, in which you will see pink elephants, lucy in the sky with a smoky, tangy, chutny flavour', or 'BEANS: with a nausiating aftertaste which will leave your intestines in turmoil all night long'.
n.
Knowing Tesco, there probably IS a "suitable for vegetarians" label on every single one of their products, including toilet tissue.
It might just be on the other side of the package (!!)
s.
lacto-ovo friendly toilet paper - i see a new winning product!
also, organic toilet paper, gluten free toilet paper, and fair trade toilet paper ...why not try them all!
coming up: miso flavoured toilet paper in red, white and brown.
your butt has never been so pampered!
oh..and of course, colesterol free toilet paper, suger free toilet paper (for diabetics), fat free and low carb toilet paper, and in the new sensations range, hand-cooked chutney and jamaican lime flavoured toilet paper.
when you think about it, the world of toilet paper really has not been developed enough...
how about hand-pressed toilet paper, japanese rice toilet paper, large-sizes toilet paper...
anti-bacterial toilet paper, anti-allergy toilet paper, KIDS toilet paper, (then obviously girls, then boys), Disney toilet paper...(that may exist actually)...
Elite women's toilet paper aka. the "ladies toilette papier" with french etoile wallpaper ornaments.
s
lol
n
and then also plebian toilet paper with old baily testimony statement:
'i was minding my own business when suddenly a gentleman and lady approached me...pointing her ladiship 'marked that I had stolen her toilette papier of one shilling and three pence. And I tell you, I had never so much as laid a finger on any toilette papier, for I am a good protestant and a poor housemaid and no French wine will pass my lips.
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