How to Write Left

A cool thing about being an alumni of the good old Royal College is that they still let you visit some of their events and see some parts of the college building which you were never allowed to enter as a mere mortal (=student), and which were decorated with some awareness of what they were actually doing (I am only guessing this... in these parts of the world, you never know). Anyway, yesterday's session talked about writing, that is, writing creatively about creative stuff, although the session also had a bit of a commercial/corporate vibe – thankfully however, not for long.

Again anyway, I thought I'd share with you the highlight of the evening: statements given by a certain CHS tutor which, in the midst of all the other "eight bulletpoints of keeping your client happy by writing. short. snappy. sentences" were a breath of fresh air because a) they actually made sense b) they showed the certain tutor actually had an opinion and c) they weren't the bla-bla we know already.

So here you go:
1. If you wanna write rite, write lite. Don't add to the sea of bad writing we are already drowning in. Get someone to edit it and cut out all those useless adjectives.
2. If you wanna write rite, write tight. Writing for a purpose and not only for yourself (that's called wanking). How many uninteresting blogs are out there? Unfortunately, some people start writing blogs out of the same reason they join a gym on New Years Day - they have good intentions, but don't continue because they're not motivated.
3. If you wanna write rite, don't write shite. Don't be seduced by the literary fireworks of amazingly clever people and try to write as densely as possible to emulate them. They are only trying to mystify their output. Writing bad theory is like being rude to waiters.
4. If you wanna write rite, use the right word for writing, i.e. write for the genre. There are specific genres out there and appropriate ways of writing for them.
5. It's alrite! (this is where he ran out of rhymes) Basically, there's no reason why writing can't be as interdisciplinary as other disciplines, e.g. having text and image overlap, or using multiple voices.